Here’s a simple 3-step process for creating what you most want in your life. The process is not about fixing ourselves or our lives. It’s about finding what we love, what works, and what makes us come fully alive, then actively taking steps to create it. The basic steps come from Jacqueline Kelm’s book “Appreciative Living”.
Step 1: Appreciate what you already have.
The essence of this step is to get to a place where we feel good about our present situation or about a particular person. The challenge here is that often we must overcome the negative feelings that we may be having. Apathy, grief, sadness, fear, anger…These rarely help us create the outcome we desire. In order to overcome these and feel good we have to begin looking for the good AND letting go of the thoughts and feelings that are in the way.
For instance, if we are having problems in a relationship, we can begin by shifting focus and identifying just one thing that we appreciate about the other person. We start looking for the good, then seeing the good, and finally feeling the good.
Other processes that work for emotional release are EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique) or the Sedona Method. Once we’ve let the feelings go, we find that we start feeling better and better. This positive emotion then helps guide our actions and impact the responses we get.
The use of a gratitude list can also be helpful when learning to feel good about what we have. Just keep a running list of everything you’re grateful for, both the large and the small. Gratitude gets us to a place of feeling good. It helps us feel that we HAVE. Feeling lack tends to produce more lack. Feeling like we have produces more feelings of abundance, and the stuff that goes along with it!
The goal is to cultivate positive feelings, and to feel good in the present. Appreciating what we already have is the present is the first step.
Step 2: Get clear about what you really want.
The next step is imagining our ideal outcome or goal. What is it that you really, really, really want? This could be something small, like what I’d like for dinner, or something much bigger, like your dream business, a better relationship, or a fabulous adventure. When doing this step, don’t think in terms of what’s possible. That will only limit your vision. Instead, think of the ideal. Use your feelings to make sure you’re on track. When you think about having or experiencing that thing it should excite you and make you feel great. If negative feelings come up, it could be that we’re focusing on what we don’t want. Turn it around. Get clear, and enjoy the good feelings that come when imagining the ideal.
Step 3: Take action in alignment with what you want.
In this final step, you get to work. Take a small step toward you goal. This doesn’t even have to be a physical action. It could be getting clear about where you are presently in relation to your goal. It could be changing focus.
The essence of this step is to take deliberate steps towards our ideal vision. We want to act in alignment with that vision. Sometimes our actions help us clarify further what we really want or appreciate more of what we already have.
These three steps actually begin to overlap at this step, with each informing the other. As we appreciate more, create clarity and take action, we may find that it feels a bit contrived at first. Not to worry. With practice comes comfort and familiarity with the terrain.
Each step brings more clarity, and greater appreciation. We refine and adjust our actions to continue moving towards our goal until we’ve achieved our desired result.
Regardless of how things may shift along the way, one things is guaranteed. You’ll feel good and enjoy the process of creating the results you want.
Check points:
To see if you’re appreciating what you already have ask, “Do I feel good about the present situation or person?”
To see if you’ve got a clear goal ask, “Am I clear about the outcome I desire?”
To see if you’re taking action to create what you want ask, “Do My actions and thoughts align with what I really want?”
Then work on the step that needs the immediate attention. Keep going! Appreciate – Get Clear – Take action – Appreciate – Get Clear – Take Action.
Try the process out and let me know how it works for you.
Enjoy!
Dr. Mendribil
